Okay, where were we? Ah, yes. Friday Night.

So DCJ and Carmel said they were going to the Klingon Lifestyle Symposium and we were fools to skip it and we agreed. But, alas, we had to run back to the hotel and drop some things off and change for dinner first. So run back to the hotel we did, and there we collapsed on the bed and were unable to MOVE until Peter showed up to rouse us. We changed real quick-like and took off for the Con, hoping to catch at least the last half hour of Klingon Lifestyling. (Fraction was determined to find out if there were human men who felt the need to dress as female klingons -- you know there are -- and if Klingons had to come out to their parents. "Mom, Dad...I've known for a long time now that I am most comfortable living as a Klingon..." I myself was hoping it was a mini-con of sorts where you could wander from booth to booth, picking up brochures with information on various aspects of the Klingon lifestyle from Klingon-positive vendors, etc.)

On our way, we ran into Brian Wood, who was headed to the Eisners. Brian seemed a bit blue when I saw him at APE in February. Wood's a pretty somber guy at his baseline but he was -- dare I suggest it? -- quite nearly chipper on that stroll. I think he must be adjusting to California living and I'm glad. He'll always be a East Coast boy at heart. (It coudn't have hurt his disposition that he was nominated for an Eisner! His category was a particularly tough one:

Talent Deserving of Wider Recognition
•Derek Kirk Kim (writer/artist, Same Difference and Other Stories)
•Christine Norrie (Cheat)
•Jeff Parker (writer/artist, The Interman)
•Ben Towele (writer/artist, Farewell Georgia)
•Brian Wood (writer, The Couriers; Channel Zero: Jennie One, Demo)

I did not envy the judges. (Derek Kirk Kim took it.))

We said goodbye and wished him luck and then turned to see Han and Megan coming out of Klingonville. Apparently the Symposium a) was not really a symposium, but was rather a "skit" of some sort and b) ended early. Drat on both counts.

So we called DCJ and made plans to meet him and Carmel, Peter and the Goldman brothers for some dinner and some Mexican restaurant before heading to some Rent Girl reading.

There was a wait at the restaurant and I think Carmel was off trying to find an alternative establishment, so Fraction, Peter and I sat at the bar with Dan and the Goldmans, talking mostly about Japanese horror and our big, big love for Taiyo Matsumoto. Dan Goldman is apparently the guy who told Fraction about Black & White. Fraction, in turn, picked up the film version of PING PONG, for which I flipped and thus, an obsession was born. It was nice to thank the source.

The clock was ticking and tables were not emptying up, so finally Peter, Fraction and I made our apologies and headed out to Subway to grab sandwiches on the run, then hopped a cab to the Rent Girl reading.

The first thing I did when we got there was get down on my knees and kiss Laurenn's feet. Not because she is a goddess -- though she is -- but because she was wearing the Cutest! Shoes! Ever! I wish I'd taken a picture. The venue was hot and crowded, so we opted to stay outside in the fresh air until it was time for Tristan Crane to read.

I think, at some point, I may have done the robot, which is the source of great consternation for my husband, who was under the mistaken impression that once we got married, he'd get the robot on demand. No, no, no -- what I said was, "Why buy the cow, when you get the robot for free?" There is nothing in there about Robot On Demand. I think he thinks I tricked him into marrying me. Like a shotgun wedding with 80's dance moves.

Okay, so, at long last it was time for Tristan's reading. We all filed in, paying our $7 bucks per person for the privilege of standing in the back trying not touch the paintings on the wall, none of which would have bothered me had it not been for the stories we heard later. (I'm not going to recount the fight here -- I wasn't there, after all -- but go to Laurenn's blog and read the 7/29 entry for the dish.) The readings themselves -- Tristan's and the Rent Girl reading -- were fabulous, though.

Peter, Fraction and I took one of those golf cart cabs back to the Hyatt and somehow -- I can't explain it -- Peter and Matt got the cab driver to sing "Goldfinger" at the top of her lungs while we were driving. Admittedly, it was awesome. Fraction followed up with and uncanny imitation of Louis Armstrong's "We've Got All The Time In The World" which very nearly makes me cry everytime I hear it because, evidently, I am a sap.

All roads, every night, end out back of the Hyatt and Friday night was no exception. In addition to the usual crew, we visited with Rucka and Van Meter and offered our congratulations on the Eisner win for Gotham Central. Matt and Neal Shaffer chatted for quite a while and I visited with Joey Cavalieri, who gave me a hard time about this website and nearly made seltzer shoot out my nose.

The End.

Up next, Saturday: "My Wife Would Like To Be With Him, But He Would Have To Wear The Face"

I haven't had much time to work on the house with everything that's been going on, but I've tried to sneak in a few chores for my office here and there. I ran out to Home Depot this morning and got the screws that were the last step to attaching the handles that finished off my cabinet. Yay.

The first picture is what it looked like when I bought it from Kelly Porter, who lives across the street from us.

Here it is stripped:

Here it is repainted and "distressed" with steel wool and wax:

And the inside:

Before we go on with the Con Report, I want to share with you a couple of favorite search strings from this month's report:

"Kelly Sue DeConnick" - I'm pleased to note that my own name has FINALLY over-taken "Gloryhole" as the number 1 search string pointing to this site. Whew.
"diy brazilian wax" - Don't do it, you fools!
"picture of dog poop" - Yay! I knew it served a purpose.
"the headstand el paso" - ???
"fear experiment husband head chopped pregnant" - ?!?!?!
"www.stinky girls farts.com" - Well, sure.
"laurenn mccubbin louise brooks" - Laurenn? If you have a Louise Brooks story, you need to tell me.
"i ate cherry pits" - I feel your pain, Sister. Or Brother.
"diana vreeland photo of red livingroom" - Oh, that makes me happy.
"seeeeeexy girl" - Aw, shucks.
"bloody poops" - Eep!
"tokyopop lingerie" - ...)

Today, manga is published in phonebook-sized magazines, serialized and in black and white. It reportedly accounts for as much as 40 percent of printed material in Japan.

Emphasis mine. More in link.

Okay, in the Thursday report -- I forgot to namecheck seeing beautiful pro-comics librarian Susan Broman and Jon "Ferocious J" Sung and his friend Seung, and meeting Laurenn McKilluh's cutie pie sister, Jenna, too.

On to Friday!

Day Two: Friday

Woke up with a vanity crisis. I realized suddenly that I looked EXACTLY like Mary Hartman and something had to be done immediately.

Oh, sure. You laugh, but it was devastating.

Enter Andi Sizzle and Miss Merry, who wisked me away to lunch at Ole Thai (or something like that) and the Hilton salon for an emergency intervention. April, the woman who cut my hair, was absolutely fascinated by tales of the Cat Man. I promised to e-mail her a picture. So who got one? Heidi?

Ran into Brendan McFeely, Jason Cornett and Travis Johnson outside of the Hilton and told them my Jedi story. Brendan reminded me of That Thing He Will Not Let Me Live Down. I am a schlub. (I am also a schlub for failing to introduce Travis to Quesada, as I promised I would. It wasn't intentional, Travis. I turned around and you were gone!)

Oh, wait. I'm screwing this up. BEFORE lunch and the emergency shorning (shoring? shearing?) I was supposed to go to Peter's Alternative Comics panel with Fraction and as I was sitting there, I realized the VIZ panel was going on simultaneously. Ever one to throw over my friends and loved ones in order to promote my own work, I bolted. Eric Searleman, Annette Roman and Kit Fox did a great job talking about Descendants of Darkness, Sensual Phrase and Kare First Love. And then Eric spoke so enthusiastically about Saikano (not one of my books) that after the panel (and some chit chat with Rich and Fraction in the hall) I headed to the Viz booth to buy it. I think it might've been my first con purchase.

Okay, THEN the haircut, THEN McKilluh introduced me to Michelle Tea and Michelle's cute boyfriend Rocco. Yes, Rocco. He looks like a Rocco, too.

Then I dashed off for a "meeting" with Kit Fox, which was completely fun and more like a slumber party than a meeting. (We very nearly did each other's hair, I swear.) I had such a good time in fact, that I didn't realize I was missing the MirrorMask screening. That sucked, but I'm sure I'll get a chance to see it again later.

Then I went by Comics One and picked up, um, three complete sets of Wounded Man. (Gifts, don't ya know.) They gave me a flyer for Dollar Manga, which looks pretty cool.

Then, I took my sketchbook -- yes; I brought a sketchbook to SDCC. If you mock me, I will ban your IP and then you will be denied the opportunity to mock me further -- I took my sketchbook to Jeff Parker and Steve Lieber. I like them so much I want to take them fishing. I don't know if they like fishing -- hell, I probably don't like fishing, what with being so hateful of the Great Outdoors -- but still, I feel I want to invite them fishing. I think we would have teh fun.

Okay, after chatting with Lieber and Parker for an inappropriate length of time, I decided to track down Fraction. So I called him. Like, four times. I knew he'd been doing a signing at the AiT booth and I couldn't figure out why he wasn't answering his phone until ... OH SHIT. He's on Dan's panel right now! I headed upstairs, passing Quesada on the way, who very obviously did not recognize me in with the long red hair, the floppy hat and the sunglasses. I said hello in passing and got the "Oh, hi! (doiknowthatchick?)" smile. I'd like to think this means I could be in the CIA if I wanted.

Okay, so Dan's panel was SRO. I tried to quietly sneak in, since I was late, but Dan -- who swears he was trying to help, not punish me -- asked ON MIC if anyone would give me a seat. I believe I blushed. Anyway, it was a good panel. There were, you know, Hollywood people. Were there any women on that panel? I don't think so. Hm. Hey Dan, don't you know any Lady High-Powered Hollywood Executive types? I like to think that wimmins can make the big deals, too.

In the hall, we ran into Dan Curtis Johnson and his new bride Carmel who announced that they were going to the Klingon Lifestyle Symposium as an anthropological expedition and I was so! excited! to go with them.

... and I'll have to stop there for now, as I have to go pick Matt up from the airport.

Friday Part II: Visceral Horror, Rent Girls and Robots, forthcoming.

Con Report Day One - Thursday

Oh, good God, this is going to suck. Parker, how the hell do you do one of these things? It's so ... monumental a task. And I'm terrified of who I'm going to leave out!

Okay, deep breath. Go:

Megan Thomas Bradner graciously picked Fraction and I up at the airport and entertained us on the way to the hotel with a collection of television theme songs -- the most exiting of which for me was PINKY AND THE BRAIN. I know all the words. Fraction and I debated which of us was Pinky and which, the Brain. We decided it depended on the time of day. Mornings, I am clearly the Brain.

We dropped our stuff off at the Hyatt and headed over to the Con. There were a GAZILLION people already and the crossing guards/traffic cops were out in force. We stopped at a light and spied across the way a portly Jedi in full Jedi regalia, carrying his Jedi stick. There aren't any cars coming exactly -- I think it was the turn lane's time to go -- but we clearly had not been given the go-ahead to cross. The Jedi, however, decided he had waited long enough and he just went ahead and crossed -- RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COP. I turned to Megan, "that Jedi's crossing agains the light -- RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COP!"

Megan turns to me and goes, "There is no light."

I swear I have told that story fifty times. Meagan funny.

First stop in the hall was Indy Island, where we said hello to Peter who was there representing Artbomb and Killing Demons. Also saw the guys from GeekPunk, Carla Speed McNeil, Jim Ottoviani and Chip Zdarsky, who is HE-larious.

Made the business rounds next, which meant stopping by Tokyopop and Viz. Viz was packed, so I said hello to Kit and agreed we'd meet later. Then headed to TP, where I finally met Rob Tokar, my editor on Girl Got Game and Demon Diary - what a nice guy! (Both books are doing very well, by the way: DD is in it's FIFTH printing and GGG made the list of top 100 best selling GNs.)

Next was Joey Cavalieri at DC (who later in the Con would make me laugh so hard I made unattractive snorting noises) and James Lucas Jones at Oni. James gifted me with one of his "I AM THE REASON JAMIE S. RICH QUIT" buttons. (He is a peach. Later I would get to meet his beautiful wife and child. Oh, and apparently I have a compulsion to chew on baby limbs. It took every fiber in my being to resist nibbling on the little legs of Zadie and Dashiell and Josephine. I wonder if there's a clinical name for my neurosis?)

Then there was dinner for 9,000 at Casa Ole (or something like that) where I finally met Rich Johnston and I sprayed lobster juice on Mike Meyer, Jeremy Love, Han Duong, Janet Harvey, Charlie Chu, Sam Humphries and everyone else in an 8-foot vicinity. I felt like Madison in Splash. Mike Barklage was out of range for lobster juicing, so I waved. "Hi, Mike!"

Oh, and I got to meet Douglas Townsend, too! He has a livejournal, but I've forgotten the link. (This is the very thing I was afraid of.)

Dinner was followed by the Oni Press party where I finally got to meet Jen Van Meter, who is just as gorgeous and funny as I'd been told. Her husband's no slouch, either. And the infinitely crushable Christine Norrie was there with her husband and wee babe. Andrew was wearing the coolest shirt I saw all weekend (it was something like a Mexican wedding shirt with beautiful embroidery on the back).

Ran into Izzy of Sequential Tart at the same restaurant and she was kind enough to introduce me around the table to all the lovely Tart girls. Then I made my first social gaff of the con: like an idiot, I tried to remember everyone's name and go back around the table. I was brain-fried of course, so, like, 4 names sunk in. This made me look like an ass and I am ever so penitent.

The evening ended out back of the Hyatt, where I fell asleep in my chair. Oops.

I'm going to do a proper con report some time in the next couple of days, but, in short, fun is being had, business is getting taken care of (I still want a T.C.B. necklace one day) and Klingons are being affectionately mocked.

Also, dark chocolate ice cream rules. So does Laurenn. And her cute crush on the fella from Buffy, who is totally our new best friend. Details to follow.

Changing now to go to the IDW party...

CASEY & FRACTION LAUNCH THE BASEMENT TAPES AT CBR JULY 27TH

Official Press Release

Los Angeles, C.A. - July 21st, 2004 - Comic Book Resources, a leading comic book news and resource Web site, is proud to announce a new column from the minds of Joe Casey ("Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes," "The Intimates") and Matt Fraction ("Last of the Independents," "Bloodsucker Tales") called THE BASEMENT TAPES. Familiar names with both fans and the industry, the duo will hold a critical discussion of comics creation, publishing and even fandom.

Fraction said, "Joe and I got to talking and felt that there was a certain kind of discussion not being had about the comics mainstream; at least not in a public space. A conversation about craft, about idiom, about the how's and why's that go on both on the page and off, and how it is we arrived there in the first place. Not anything as turgid as a how-to, and not as odious as a perpetual interview, just two guys shootin' the breeze, basically. Shop talk.

"Joe, what the hell am I saying? What are we after?"

"Mayhem," replied Casey. "That's what we're after. Pure, unadulterated mayhem."

More.

EDITED TO ADD: It looks like that first link may have been killed by mefi traffic. I'm leaving it to serve as a photocredit.

Nigerian mobile phone users have been anxiously checking who is calling them before answering them in recent days.

A rumour has spread rapidly in the commercial capital, Lagos, that if one answers calls from certain "killer numbers" then one will die immediately.

Kamikaze Girls.

Thanks, Johnathan.

The world of the undead is a vast one, with many stories remaining to be told. In Bloodsucker Tales, Steve Niles continues the saga of 30 Days of Night with the bloody and terrifying story “Dead Billy Dead,” illustrated by talented newcomer Kody Chamberlin. Matt Fraction (Last of the Independents) joins in with “Juarez,” introducing Lex Nova, former private detective and free-range madman, illustrated by Ben Templesmith.

FC, 32pg..........$3.99

Anybody out there play? I need help with an adaptation issue.

I think the bunny's my favorite, but it's a very tough call. I like the bear and the pup, too.

Thanks to Fig and Plum, who also provided this goodie.

So I took our beloved Captain Applejack to doggy daycare for the first time today and I must tell you I was a nervous wreck.

I woke up at 6:30 after having suffered a series of dreams and nightsweats over the event. I went downstairs to let the boy out of his kennel - I had to wake him, which was decidedly backwards. We napped together in the livingroom for a bit and then got up and had breakfast. At 7:30 I took him to Kate's Canine Resort and I think I must have kissed him fifty times in the car on the way there. I assured him that it was going to be okay, he would have fun, and that if he was unhappy, Kate would call me and I would come get him and we never so much as speak of it again.

We held hands the whole way there. Which was awkward since I drive a shift.

You are, each and every one of you, the interw3b's most special angels and I owe you all birthday cakes.

Now, go heap your affections on Charlie Chu. Today's his big day. I think he may at long last be legal.

Thank you so much. I expected today to suck. Shockingly, it's almost noon and the sucking has yet to commence. (Very little work has been accomplished thus far today, however, and the two facts may be related.)

Thanks to Matthew Jent, who e-mailed the first list, which was so lovely that I felt ye olde lump in my thoat. All those people are very lucky, Matthew. All except the high school girlfriend whom you made cry.

Aunt Polly, Mark, Danielle, Megan, Erin, Steven, Mike, Jen (thank you for the wishes on your blog, too!), Lauren, Jayanthi (let's go to one of those places when I'm there next), Greg, Craig, William -- you are all brilliant and funny and you've put smiles on my face steadily since 8am, and I thank you.

Baby, I love you. And our retarded zoo, too.

Amity, Courtney, Warren, Laurenn, Jamie, Steve, Keith, Karen, Nana & Pop, Dad & Eileen, and Mom...I could just kiss your little faces until you were all covered with Russian Red. Really and truly, I could.

More later.

Must. Work.

EDITED TO ADD MORE THANK YOUS: xtop, Gina and Kit Fox. Thank you!

I'm 34. Make me a list of 34 reasons why that doesn't suck. Or make me any list that has 34 things on it.

That's what I want for my birthday, please. Make me a list.*

I'll be here most of the day, working. I'll run out at some point to get my roots bleached and pick up our CSA groceries. Other than those two errands, I'll be here. Working. And hoping for lists.

Thank you.

*If you were one of the beautiful souls who made me a list for my 31st birthday, you're excused.

I don't really know what to say about this (nor do I have time to form cohesive thoughts, as previously established) so I'm offering up a series of links. This is real-life horror, folks, on multiple levels. You've been warned:

Article on the murder that began it.

Internet cult of celebrity, Hikikomori angle.

More Hikikomori.

Connection to Battle Royale?

Singalong.

EDITED TO ADD: Fan art.

EDITED TO ADD: More fan art.

Thanks to Jonathan and Courtney.

The good news is my cold is getting better. The bad news is, nothing else is.

I've gotten about half a day's work done in the last 3 days, which is very much a problem since I'm running ludicrously behind -- and have been since April. Everytime I think I've gotten caught up, it gets worse. I finally gave up the fight and resigned one book, which should help significantly, but the effects aren't going to be felt until late next month. (My god, I can't wait until late next month.) So more stress and embarrassment until then. (Also, more cut and paste fashion blogging, since that takes about 2 seconds.)

Spent some time at the vet on Friday with Applejack. They upped the dosage of his antibiotic and put him on Hill's i/d. We saw some improvement in his stools by Saturday afternoon, but that pretty much got negated last night when he ATE A STICK AND A HALF OF BUTTER. Thus we were at the Emergency Vet until 1:30 this morning while they induced vomitting. (How much of that was necessary, we're not sure, as he started puking on his own in the car on the way there. My overalls and the passenger seat now smell like Movie Popcorn and puke.) We may change his name now. We can't decide between "Money Pit" and "Birth Control." Matt likes "ATM."

The painter is here to do my bathroom and the livingroom now, so I'm going to go move furniture and get back to work.

Happy Monday, America.

I crave a camisole in an electric/cobalt blue. A satin finish would be lovely, but is not required. I'm hoping to pay less than $60. Thoughts/pointers?

Jean Paul Gaultier & Elie Saab

Up today: Chanel & Lacroix

Click on the images to see the full collections.

And the fun just keeps a-coming!

Today in Menswear: Galliano, Givenchy, Van Noten and Viktor & Rolf

Click on the pictures to see the full collections.

from Handbag.com

Celebs go potty for robot toilets

A new craze for space-age toilets that pamper the user's rear has got stars flushed with excitement. The rush for the robot thrones is currently gripping Hollywood, after being started by Men In Black hunk Will Smith and his Matrix star wife Jada Pinkett Smith. The actor was the first to install the $15,000 loos in his LA mansion and they've been such a success that stars, including Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez and Brad Pitt, are queuing up for a futuristic bathroom fixture of their own. 'They are amazing,' says Smith on his luxury lavatories. 'I found them in Japan in a hotel there. They're toilet-paper free. You sit on the toilet and there's a spray that's so deadly accurate. Wherever you sit on the toilet, somehow it always hits the bull's eye perfectly. It cleans it with one spray and dries with another. It's warm too, so it's beautiful. It is just water and then air.' Smith, 36, and his 32-year-old movie-star wife have had two of the hi-tech toilets installed in their new $10 million mansion in LA. 'I am a techno-junkie,' adds Smith, who ironically plays a technophobe in his new movie I, Robot. 'Whatever the latest gadget is, I have to have it. I really stay at the forefront of technology.' Now, it seems, other celebs are following suit by splashing out for their very own hands-free WC. 'It's really going to catch on,' predicts Smith. 'Everyone is going to want one.'

And I thought babywipes were brilliant.

Today in Men's - Louis Vuitton, Christian Dior, Helmut Lang, Paul Smith, Jean Paul Gaultier, Yohji Yamamoto and Raf Simons

Big trends this year? "Fruity," "Sleazy," and, weirdly, "Nena, 99 Luftballoons." Witness:

And, HELLO FALL 2004 COUTURE:

Wait. Somebody didn't get the memo...

(Up today: Christian Dior, Valentino, Ralph Rucci Chado and Anne Valerie Hash)

I think she's actually hurt.

I am a horrible, horrible person for laughing, I know.

Dear Declaration of Independence,

Happy birthday, you crazy-lovely document. We'll try to think of you today as we're firing up the grill and slurping watermelon off our chins. I confess, fireworks kind of freak me out, but you're worth it.

Love,

Us

PS: Everyone here wishes to express their condolences at the gross mistreatment of your brother, the Constitution, these last few years. We're trying very hard to get that awful man out of your house. Soon, I hope. Hang in there.

Genius.

Thanks, Fraction.

Miu Miu and Armani, added.

The Federal Marriage Amendment is expected to come to a vote in
the US Senate in early July. We must let our Senators know that
we do NOT want discrimination written into the constitution!

Even if you've already spoken out on this issue before, our
Senators need to hear from us often and loudly during the next
few weeks! Please, join me in sending a personalized letter from
the Human Rights Campaign Action Center at:

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/senate_oppose_fma2?rk=V7qZQG11valDW

Thanks, Jamie

(That first one's for you, Keith. Deep breaths.)

Today: Calvin Klein, Emporio Armani, Etro and Valentino. If you like WWII movies (I do) the Valentino show is pretty hot. I confess I lament the return of the 2-button suit jacket, though.