Oh, yeah.

Fraction: ...What, so you’re just going to show up at the office with a bag of poops – “Here, I brought this! What? You don’t need it. Oh, bummer...”

Fraction: Dude, that’s weird.

KS: Well, yeah.

KS: Okay, if you went in for your physical and out of the blue you were like, “Oh, here! I brought you a stool sample!” that would be weird. But he’s got diarrhea, and they’re going to have to test his poops so I don’t think there’s anything particularly weird about taking a sample in so he doesn’t have to have a finger shoved up his butt and poops dug out.

Fraction: I’m sorry, I think pre-emptive stool sampling is weird -- whether it’s you or me or the dog or the fish or a goat or whatever.

KS: ...

Fraction: Unless you’ve got, like, flaming bloody poops, and then you should totally take some with you and be like, “Woo hoo! Check it out!”

KS: ...

Fraction: Before you put a bag of shit in the car, you should at least make a phone call.

KS: ...Fine.

Fraction: [sings the Princess song]

Today: Cavalli, Prada and McQueen. Go look at McQueen.

As part of linguistics research at the University of Maryland, I
am looking for volunteers who are native speakers of English to
participate in a psychological experiment about word and sentence
meaning. The experiment is conducted over the web. The only
requirements are that you be a native speaker of English and have web
access with a browser such as Internet Explorer, Mozilla, or Netscape,
with Java 1.4 enabled.

If you have 30 to 60 minutes, your participation would be very
valuable and most appreciated. Just follow this link to begin:

http://webexp.umiacs.umd.edu/web_exp/ssum.instr.html

This plea comes from a friend of Karon

Things/Subjects/People And/Or Activities, In Which I Am Currently Interested, Or About Which I Am, At Present, Feeling More Positive Than Negative, Though I Reserve The Right To Change My Mind, Because I Am Fickle Like That

1. abebooks.com
2. aleister arcane
3. all that jazz
4. arthur bryant’s
5. baths
6. bcbg’s cardi-wrap
7. big fake hair
8. big pictures
9. bloomsday books
10. blueberries and yogurt
11. both sleeping in and getting up early
12. carrot and stick stationary
13. cbr’s comic book idol contest
14. chrysler building
15. cilantro on sandwiches instead of lettuce
16. crestwood shops
17. crusty roll sandwiches
18. curbside recycling
19. cypress avenue radio show
20. dark chocolate
21. deadline extensions
22. diana vreeland
23. dignity, decency and grace
24. dinner parties
25. double-wrap watchbands
26. dressing up
27. dvd commentary tracks
28. editing and editors
29. electric blue and kelly green, though not together, really
30. elegant men
31. elsa peretti
32. everyone who’s stepped up to help me with the santeria research, including but not limited to kathleen hudspeth, dawn sanders and mark saucier
33. fashion mags
34. finding a pen to wear on a ribbon around my neck that doesn’t make me look like I need a clipboard and a snarl
35. fishnet stockings as a basic
36. fresh herbs
37. garden planning
38. gina’s book about her friend bob
39. glass doorknobs
40. goal-setting and conscious evaluation
41. good lighting
42. growing heirloom tomatoes
43. henry mancini
44. hips, shoulder muscles and collar bones
45. hkflix.com and pokerindustries.com
46. imaginary friends
47. iou kuroda
48. john kerry
49. jolie holland
50. kansas city
51. kay thompson, funny face and eloise
52. kennel training
53. knitting in general and specifically the knitting needles that my grandmother just sent me
54. listmaking
55. louboutin’s red soles
56. lsa international
57. madonna. yes, madonna.
58. magic korean washcloths
59. manners
60. marie claire idees, readymade and real simple
61. married life
62. modesty blaise
63. my red leather bookweight from levenger.com
64. nikol’s mini-movie
65. npr
66. old horror comics
67. old hotels
68. old typewriters
69. ostrich meat
70. paper source
71. pens and notebooks
72. photobooth strips
73. pleasant morning buzz coffee
74. polka dots and nautical stripes
75. poppies and paintings and drawings of same
76. pretty pretty pretty
77. restraint
78. ribbons
79. robert johnson – hot tamales and they’re red hot
80. roy scheider
81. royal tenenbaums
82. secretary
83. self-deprecating humor and sincere sentimentalism
84. slayers novelizations
85. smarty jones in the breeder’s cup
86. stripper dancing (but not strip clubs)
87. sugar-free red bull
88. surprise sunflowers
89. taiyo matsumoto
90. technicolor
91. thank you notes
92. the french
93. the frick collection
94. the internet
95. the penn valley dog run
96. thurston cromwell and those who have been inspired to enter the political realm by the current atrocities therein
97. tiffany blue
98. tv shows on dvd
99. vietnamese food
100. warm-up exercises (like this)

Things/Subjects/People And/Or Activities, Of Which I Tired, Or About Which I Am Feeling More Negative Than Positive Right This Moment, Though I Reserve The Right To Change My Mind, Because I Am Fickle Like That

1. a front door you can see through
2. anti-fashion fashion
3. arthritis and macular degeneration
4. asking for deadline extensions
5. backed up housework
6. backyard fish ponds
7. bureaucracy
8. courtney’s stress level
9. diva, the word and the concept
10. dogs who fancy chewing on shoe laces
11. drama queens (and kings)
12. financial limitations
13. fruit flies
14. george w. bush
15. ham’s self-imposed exile
16. having applejack’s big ugly black kennel in my pretty pink office
17. just do it
18. lack of sleep
19. living out of boxes
20. missing yoga. for months.
21. not being able to find the lsa international bowls that I want
22. our closets
23. possums
24. temporal limitations
25. tracking down contractors

The menswear shows are up on Style.com. Click pic above.

At long last!

A manga forum peopled with articulate posters.

I plan to lurk.

Nice site, too.

Manga mania
With at least three centres offering drawing classes, there's nothing to stop manga lovers from turning their fantasy into reality
By Stephanie Hua

MANGA is the new draw in town.

Not content with just reading Japanese comics or watching the animated form called anime, Singaporeans are signing up for drawing lessons.

There are currently about 90 students enrolled in three centres - Inoue School of Language and Art, FUNic Comics and TKG.

Ms Geraldine Yeo, director of Inoue, says response has been good since it started such classes last year, considering that it does not advertise and relies on word of mouth.

'We had people asking for manga-drawing courses and since not many people were offering them, we decided to do so,' she says.

More in link.

Pathology 850 Practical Exam

I got 15/40, guessing.

Kill Your Belly.

Thank, Patience.

I went to high school with Amy. I had such a crush on her brother, Jeff, that I once asked him to arm wrestle.

Somehow he managed to resist my charms.

I should order her record. I bet it's good.

Matthew writes:

I'm working on a project for one of my classes in which I have to research something and write an essay of "instances." I'm interested in writing about imaginary friends, how people interacted with them, and what they remember of them or think of them as adults. I assumed they were pretty common, but most of the friends I've asked say they didn't have any. So I'm asking around, collecting anecdotes and taking notes for now. If anyone remembers having imaginary friends and wants to share something, even just names or a story or two, let me know. I'll be most appreciative and I'll get a copy of the final paper in your hands, if you're interested. Or, just drop a "no, I never had any" in the comment box, that would be helpful too. If you have anything to share you can submit it in the comments or send me a note to matthewjent@earthlink.net

I had an imaginary friend. Her name was Caroline and she liked to sit on the stairs with me. I made my mom set a place for her at the table and I shrieked and wept when Mom would accidentally step on her on the way up to the second floor. Caroline tried mom's nerves.

Fifteen or so years later, I was working my way through college as a clerk at a video store. A co-worker handed me the phone. "It's for you," he said. "Someone named 'Caroline'." Though it's not exactly an uncommon name, I got a cold chill and had a lump in my throat when I tried to say hello.

It was my mother, of course, having her revenge.

...and yet, I'm going to take the time to blog. Why? Because my priorities are hideously backwards, obviously. Also because my brain has been fried by Descendants of Darkness and I need a break. What? Oh, like you're so much more industrious.

In no particular order:

Leahy Lovin'

Mike Barklage has a blog, through which Laurenn and I found this. I, too, think I may be in love with Sen. Patrick Leahy. They must do good things to the water in Vermont.
_____

Reading Reptile

I've purchased an embarassing number of books recently. They are as follows:
The Angelica Home Kitchen - I miss about a gabillion things about New York City, but way up near the top of the FOODIE section of that list is Angelica's Kitchen on 12th Street. I haven't bought the book before now because it's been absurdly expensive. It's on sale for some reason, so I picked it up.

My Life by Bill Clinton - I don't care who's blowing the pilot, frankly, so long as he can fly the plane.

The Best of Alice Joanou - Gaiman recommended her work to me years ago when I was starting to write "adult fiction" and flailing about miserably, unsure of myself and the worthiness of my pursuit. I'm a pretentious little shit sometimes, I fear.

Feeling at Home - Alexandra Stoddard, a guilty pleasure of mine. Her books are absolute crap and I really don't care.

Time Management for Writers Yeah, I know. Laugh it up.

The Forest for the Trees: An Editor's Advice to Writers; and

Secrets of Good Housekeeping - I found it used at Bloomsday Books while Amity and Patience were here, and had to pick it up. It contains a fascinating recipe for preserved lemons.

The sidebar over there --->
is terrifically out of date.
_____

Take Flight

Pretty things for comics nerds.
_____

24 Hour Party Props

Plum Party
_____

Barbarians!

Fraction brushed the dog with my beloved Mason Pearson hairbrush. Alert the media: all civility is lost.
_____

Remember How You Thought It Didn't Matter Who Was President, That It Would Never Affect Your Life? Guess You Were Wrong About That One

Women Against Bush

Best t-shirt slogan of the year: "I Bet You'll Vote This Time, Hippy"
_____

Louis and Clark and Pantyhose

Parrish Baker sent me The Urban Pioneer Project. ReadyMade Magazine mocked it mercilessly, intimating it had about as much to offer as Nylon Magazine, but I confess, I think it's pretty. [Lest anyone scold me, I picked up Nylon in the airport, figuring it had been years since I'd decided it was the absolute worst magazine I'd ever read and I should give it another shot. I'm weirdly pleased to find it still sucks spectacularly.]
_____

Kraftwerk

Way back in February, Grace Cruz and I found a beautiful electric blue ribbon-knit poncho at the Anthropologie store in San Francisco. It was about $200 -- about $150 dollars more than I could afford to spend on such a trendy piece. I took down the dimensions and made a note to myself to try and copy it. I finally got around to picking up a couple of yarn options and some size 17 needles this past weekend. I got some advice from Karen at Urban Arts & Crafts and I'm working on swatches now.

I've got a few (okay, more than a few) unfinished projects I need to get back to as well, the most pressing of which is a quirky green handbag of my own design, knit with two strands Fizz in "fern" and one strand Lamb's Pride in limeade. I bought pink crystal handles and pink gingham for the lining. I also have some silly wired butterflies made from painted feathers that I plan to finish it off with. I'm stupidly excited about this little bag. I'll have to take some photos for you.
_____

Notebook Aesthetic

Casa, link courtesy of Susannah Breslin.
_____

Kernels of Sanders

Steven Sanders has a blog. He has dared me to the eat chocolate-infused pork fat he intends to prepare. Some nonsense about us being on the vanguard of culinary self-abuse or whatever. I'm deeply afraid.
_____

Dirty Dancing

Fraction bought me the S-Factor DVD! I want desperately to go to LA and take the intensive. I should call about that tomorrow -- I hear there's a ridiculous waiting list.
_____

Meat

I ordered ostrich and bison meats from Blackwing for Father's Day gifts and I have to say the woman who took the order (I *think* I actually spoke to the President of the company) was one of NICEST people I've ever dealt with in a customer service situation. So, um, yay!
_____

Begging your assistance:

-- Anybody know anything about what credentials are required to get into the Conde Nast library for research?

-- Anybody know anything about the contemporary practice of Santa Ria? Dawn, maybe...?
_____

Got my comps of Sensual Phrase Vol. 2 from Viz, over the weekend -- very pleased with how it came out. Thanks, Eric.

Via the pink puppy.

Ukraine serves up chocolate-covered pork fat

A restaurant in Ukraine has unveiled what could be the unhealthiest snack in the world - chocolate-covered pork fat.

BBC Online says salo, or small slices of pork fat, are already commonly eaten with black bread, raw garlic and vodka as a Ukrainian delicacy.

More in link.

Keith Alexander is blogging.

Long snubbed by the Doll Games, a "found" B***** was finally admitted in the late classical period, on the condition that she suffer her trademark blonde hair to be dyed black and her legs to be amputated just below the knees. Unfortunately, the offensive "blackface" and ungainly leg stumps that resulted from these operations made her a laughingstock, and she never found a lasting place in the Doll Games; her name, if she was given one, has been forgotten.

Image lifted from http://www.bumperboy.net

I have a second-hand copy of this terrifying woman's Guide to Life, entitled Having It All. It's essentially a "how to sleep your way to wealth, fame and success" manual for unexceptional women she calls "mouseburgers." Nice. It includes step-by-step instructions on how to give a blow job: she advises her mousey followers pretend they're eating ice cream cones. I like to pass it around at dinner parties to horrify my guests. It's like a paperback car crash.

Thanks, Nikol.

I'm looking for pictures of Diana Vreeland (easy to find) and Kay Thompson (harder to find) for my new supergirlypink office. I'm particularly interested in stills from the THINK PINK number in Funny Face.

I'm not having much luck. Help...?

Most commentators on manga "suggest that the origins of the form go back at least to the Edo period (1600-1868), and some see its origins even earlier, in the Zen cartoons of the medieval period and the comic animal scrolls of the 10th century," wrote Susan J. Napier in her book, "Anime: From Akira to Princess Mononoke."

I scored a 725. There were two questions that I am apparently the first person to ever run out of time on. I'm weirdly proud.

WHO IS THE GUY IN THE RED UNDERWEAR?? His name starts with an "H."

Photo credit: greenappleslingshot.com.

Happy birthday, Mikey.

(c)2004 Rand Careaga/salamander.eps

Gargantuan by Maggie Estep and Rent Girl by Michelle Tea and Laurenn McCubbin are available for pre-order on Amazon.com.

Give the ladies all your monies.

Fahrenheit 9/11.

McCubbin has landed.

KARE FIRST LOVE
184 pages
$9.95 Category: SHÔJO
Available August 2004

Life is pretty dull for four-eyed high school student Karin. She has never thought of herself as beautiful or glamorous, yet one day she finds Kiriya, the hottest guy in school, taking pictures of her in the subway. Karin is not sure if he actually likes her or if he just some kind of weirdo. Things are further complicated when Yuka, the most popular girl in Karin’s school takes a romantic interest in Kiriya and views Karin as her rival. Karin tries build up her courage and self esteem and stand up to Yuka. A modern story inspired by the classic Ugly Duckling fairy tale, KARE FIRST LOVE, from Kaho Miyasaka, realistically depicts a young girl’s path to discover her true self and her first experiences with love.

KARE FIRST LOVE is an ongoing series still published in the pages of Shôjo Comic in Japan and has sold over 1.5 million copies. This is the first time the manga will be offered to an English-speaking audience.

English adaptation by yours truly.

I am so there.

Post, Horse, Jockey, Trainer, M/L Odds
1. Master David, J. Santos, R. Frankel, 20-1
2. Purge, J. Velazquez, T. Pletcher, 5-1
3. Caiman, R. Dominguez, A. Medina, 50-1
4. Birdstone, E. Prado, N. Zito, 15-1
5. Rock Hard Ten, A. Solis, J. Orman, 8-1
6. Royal Assault, P. Day, N. Zito, 20-1
7. Tap Dancer, J. Castellano, N. Allard, 50-1
8. Eddington, J. Bailey, M. Hennig, 10-1
9. Smarty Jones, S. Elliott, J. Servis, 2-5

I'm a week behind on my deadlines -- which is, I think, the farthest I've ever been behind -- and I'm freaking out.

So of course, WORD just crashed and I lost everything I've done since 7:30 this morning. Auto-save wasn't functioning for some reason. No recovered doc, either.

I think I'm going to cry.

In other news, Mom was here over the weekend, and the kitchen is completely unpacked. We also made progress on the diningroom, my office and the bedroom.

Scroll down to 11 Things You Can Do.

thanks, Jane