So what then is natto? Natto is steamed soybeans that are fermented, sometimes in rice straw, until the beans have acquired their notorious nutty flavor, disturbing aroma and sticky slipperiness, held together like a spider web by gossamer-like threads.

How does it get this way? It's all in the secret sauce: the bacteria bacillus natto, which activates the fermentation process.

For maybe six or eight months now, Fraction and I have been enjoying a casual revolving dinner party with Hector Casanova, Renee Laferriere, Steven and Dawn Sanders. We're all busy people, alas, so these dinners don't happen too terribly often. Still, they're great fun and each seems to inspire more enthusiasm for the next. Steven recently hit upon the brilliant notion of theming the things. Thus, last night's dinner was the Deep Wood Dinner, loosely themed along the lines of the children's book by the same name.

The menu included an amazing walnut and smoked almond soup, Stilton cheese and crusty bread, Elderflower wine, Elderflower sparkling water, dandelion greens, sweet potatoes, roasted fennel, cornish hens stuffed with a cherry-apple chutney and a salad of pomegranate and apple. We finished with a clove pie and coffee and conversation around the fire.

Are you jealous? Really, you should be.

By way of follow-up, Pretties:

The stinky Asian fruit we were discussing at dinner is called durian. And yes indeed, that link points to a site dedicated to "The King of Fruit."

The Robb Walsh book were were discussing is called Are You Really Going To Eat That?

The book that has the story about Mitterand and his last meal, featuring the ortolan bird, is In The Devil's Garden: A Sinful History of Forbidden Foods.

I can't find the fabulous excerpt that Dawn sent so long ago, but I dug this excerpt from "Delightful, Delicious, Disgusting" by Carolyn Korsmeyer (which largely quotes an Esquire article by Michael Paterniti):

When President François Mitterand knew that he was dying, he resolved to finish his mortal days by eating one final meal that summed up the best that can be presented to the senses. The centerpiece of that meal was ortolan, a small warbler, a migratory wild bird, which is now prohibited by French law from the table. It is said to represent the soul of France, and consuming it is a sin. But Mitterand prevailed in his last wish and served a remarkable meal to more than thirty guests.

The tiny birds are caught in the wild and kept in the dark to fatten. When ready, they are drowned in Armagnac brandy and plucked. They are roasted and served whole, wings and legs tucked in, eyes open. They are brought to the table straight from the fire, and one must consume the entire bird. The diner traditionally eats them with a large linen napkin draped over his head. The napkin traps the aroma of the dish, even as it hides the shame of the feast from the eyes of God.

Mitterand's last meal was recreated and consumed by a curious American writer, Michael Paterniti. Here is his description of eating ortolan:

Here's what I taste: Yes, quidbits of meat and organs; the succulent, tiny strands of flesh between the ribs and tail. I put inside myself the last flowered bit of air and Armagnac in its lungs, the body of rainwater and berries. In there, too, is the ocean and Africa and the dip and plunge in a high wind. And the heart that bursts between my teeth.

It takes time. I'm forced to chew and chew again and again, for what seems like three days. And what happens after chewing for this long--as the mouth full of taste buds and glands does its work--is that I fall into a trance. I don't taste anything anymore, cease to exist as anything but taste itself.

And that's where I want to stay--but then can't because the sweetness of the bird is turning slightly bitter and the bones have announced themselves. When I think about forcing them down my throat, a wave of nausea passes through me. And that's when, with great difficulty, I swallow everything."

Finally, a dinner party themed around Nero Wolfe (with an assist from The Nero Wolfe Cookbook) could be great fun. Everyone would have to wear an orchid.

Japanese sounds like fun, too.

Last night I dreamed I went into a porn store with Charlie Chu, who had grown a red-blonde beard and looked like an Asian Warren Zevon.

We were looking for a coffee table book Laurenn McCubbin had done; turn of the century girlie show pictures recreated with contemporary models. It was sepia-toned and the girls all wore cotton corsets and bloomers. It was very innocent by modern standards. I'm not sure why it was in a porn store. Actually, there was no porn in the porn store. I'm not sure how I knew it was a porn store at all. They had comics. And shoes. And magic wands, like in Harry Potter. While we were there, we looked through their manga collection. It was lame.

We did a funny walk when we left the store.

Also, Charlie and I were running from the law. I'd gone in the store first and while I was away, he'd dumped our car and stolen a new one so that we were driving an "inconspicuous" green gremlin. He also threw away my purse. I was mad. Especially since he put my money is his pocket and I had to ask for cash whenever I wanted to buy anything.

Mostly, Charlie was upset because he lost the crest off of his see-through plastic lighter. He wouldn't tell me what the crest had been, though.

You're sort of a shady character. You sneak into
the city under the East River, and make a hasty
exit soon after. But while the tourists may
steer clear of your decrepit stations, you know
you're essential to the commuters who depend on
you.


Which New York City subway line are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

From mattfraction.com

keep the aspidistra flying:

One more thing on the Comic Relief Appreciation Week Sale (scroll down a bit for more info):

The first, oh, say fifteen folks or so that order something from Comic Relief during their sale that heard about it here [MattFraction.com], I'll send you a signed LAST OF THE INDEPENDENTS (what I wrote) and KILLING DEMONS (what I designed) as a show of thanks.

Direct any sales inquiries to info@comicrelief.net or give 'em a call at 510-843-5002. They have everything, basically, and will be glad to ship 'em off to you in time for the holidays and the giving and the whatnot.

Then drop me a line and let me know to whom you'd like your LOTI made out and where to send it, and as soon as I get it squared with Rory, you'll get yourself a couple thankyou books from me. I'll toss in other various and sundry knicknacks for kicks, too.

Thanks, y'all. Shop 'til you drop.

On Friday, November 21, 2003, at 09:10 AM, PATIENCE wrote:

Hey...I have a friend who's going to New York--what are your "can't miss this" tips? Interesting restaurants/bars/tourist sites? Gracias

Hm ... I'll have to give it some thought. I'm much better with specific recommendations, than general.

Off the top of my head:

Betty is doing some shows in December -- he or she should *definitely* check that out if they can. See Betty Rules for more info.

I like Dojo on St. Mark's for a quick & cheap meal (gotta get the soy burger dinner), NOHO Star for homemade gingerale and a dish with quinoa, roasted veggies, mashed potatoes and goat cheese, that is so good it HURTS ME TO THINK ABOUT IT, and Ferrara's in Little Italy for coffee and cannoli.

Matt and I both ardently recommend seeing a movie at the Angelika, then strolling down to Ferrara's.

Cafe Edgar's on the Upper West Side (255 West 84th Street btwn Broadway and West End Ave) is a cute place to have lunch, Cafe Lalo is a good dessert stop -- something like 85 desserts and liquors?; it's always entertaining.

My favorite museum is the Whitney and my favorite museum cafe is Sarabeth's, downstairs at the Whitney.

I've never been to West Village bistro called "Ino" -- 21 Bedford St, between Sixth Ave and Downing St, New York 10014-4768 · 212-989-5769 -- but it's on my list for my next visit.

So is Café Sabarsky -- 1048 Fifth Avenue, at 86th Street -- 212-288-0665. I tried to go once before, but it was so crowded that I got pissy and left. I recommend going on a weekday or getting there early.

Um ... what else?

Eating alone? I like the communal table at Angelica's Kitchen on 12th. Have the "Wee Dragon Bowl." It's anything but "wee."

I used to swear that the Staten Island Ferry was the best bargain for tourists in NYC. So soon after the crash, I'm not sure whether to recommend that or not.

Shopping Canal Street is fun for tourists, as long as they're not opposed to crowded streets or designer knock-offs. Hit Pearl River Market, too.

Smith Street in Brooklyn has lots of cute shops and restaurants (take the F to Bergen) and I can't remember the name of the main drag in Williamsburg ... crap. I'll ask Courtney. It's not Grand, it's ... shoot. I'll have to ask.

The promenade is a lovely stroll in Brooklyn Heights. It's not quite the same since 9-11, but it is a lovely view.

The yoga studio I went to last time I was there was great, but I don't remember the name off the top. If your friend wants to take class, I'll get the name and address from Maggie.

I wonder if the Hungarian Pastry Shop is still open up by The Cathedral of St. John the Divine...? The coffee's dreadful, but the pastries are yum. And I like the Cathedral quite a lot.

That's all I've got for now. I'll think of some more and get back to you.

I'll also plug some links in here later in the day.

COMIC RELIEF APPRECIATION WEEK
11/19-11/26

COMIC RELIEF ASKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT

Comic Relief needs your help. I hope at this time that you are able to further support a treasured community resource; the independent bookstore. Please when picking up your comics or GNs today, consider an additional purchase.

An extra Graphic Novel a week is all we ask.

I believe Comic Relief offers the largest and most diverse selection of comics and graphic novels in the US. Not only do we carry comics and GNs, but our selection of self-published ‘zines, Manga, Anime DVDs, Fringe Culture books, and Art books show our desire to promote the graphic medium in all its forms. Unfortunately, carrying such a massive inventory has a large cost associated with it. My optimism and zeal to offer such a selection has caused a bit of a cash crunch.

What we would like is for you to buy an extra comic or GN today that you were going to buy tomorrow. Pick up those Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanza, or Solstice gifts today; avoid the rush! Also, as a thank you, every $100 purchase will be accompanied by your choice of a free tee-shirt, 30% off any statue or toy set, or 20% off DVDs! No, we are not going away, but we could use your help now. We’ve taken steps to correct our inventory excesses, and we’ll still have the books you want when you want them. Remember, we always special order as needed.

I and the staff at Comic Relief would like to thank you again for your continued support.

My Sincerest Regards,
Rory D. Root
Proprietor

Shop early, folks, and shop often. Good luck, Rory.

so you remember that picture i took at isabel's fashion show of your chest in the barely legal t-shirt? well it has been a favorite at the coffee shop. no worries, no one knows who it is. when they moved the coffee roaster over to the new location next to arizona, the roasters complained about the lack of cute girls to watch. so april made a sticker out of the picutre and stuck it on the front of the roaster as a bit of scenery. the boys were all smiles until they roasted the first batch and the adhesive melted off the sticker and barely legal floated to the floor. there was still enough sticky though that it would stick to the inside of the ladder that leaned against the wall right next to the roaster. still a nice view until the guy from neal harris heating and cooling came back for his ladder! who knows how many fans you have.
love ya,
kelli

That's right. Melted adhesive.

Ssssssizzle.

Heh.

To Do List:

finish editing interview with Niles
get caught up on Sensual Phrase schedule
read Girl Got Game #4
start writing letters for Thanksgiving
Kitchen Sink pitch?
write “I Have a Textbook Vagina”
continue to work in office (a little at a time, a little at a time)
figure out when I’m leaving KTP & Co.
send copies to E. Bess
schedule meeting with Varone?
call Apple about delay in sending out iBook
clean bathroom
order Courtney’s X-mas?
finish Perfect Bound (!!)
figure out what to do with hair
schedule haircuts
schedule dentist appts?
hyperventilate

November 19th is apparently World Toilet Day.

Thanks, Steve.

Does anyone know of a webtool or toy that will calculate day counts...?

For instance, if a document is being filed today and action can't be taken on the document for 120 calendar days (as opposed to business days), is there a nifty little calculator that will tell me the date 120 days from today?

I know it's not that difficult to figure out with an actual calendar in front of me, but I'd like a cheat.

It's done; I spent my Amazon Associates gift certificate on the first six books of this series:

My thanks to those of you who made it possible -- especially the Primus fan.

(Of course, now that the order is placed, I see this.)

Terror Is A Triple Meat Pizza
Who needs war and evildoers and a big nuclear holocaust? We've got a national obesity epidemic
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
©2003 SF Gate

URL: sfgate.com/article.cgi?file=/g/a/2003/11/12/notes111203.DTL

To hell with Osama. Enough with al Qaeda. Screw global warming or killer locusts or the Second Coming. Evildoer terrorists and anthrax and SARS, AIDS and nuclear holocausts and cute cataclysmic asteroid collisions? Whatever.

Ain't got nothing on America's proud obesity epidemic, baby. Rampant, uncontrolled, pandemic weight issues are upon us, huge, unstoppable, nationwide, like a runaway train of ignorance and misinformation and disease and imminent heart failure bearing down on everything we think we are, right now.

What, too dramatic? Hardly. Obesity is no longer just a curiosity. It is no longer just an "alarming trend." It is no longer just a statistic, a whiny hot-button debate, a PC lightning rod wherein fat advocates and skinny finger-pointers bitch about who is to blame and who is a victim and who can just shut up and get over it and start eating better and exercising.

We are inventing scales that go to 1,000 pounds. We are inventing sponges on a stick so fat people can scrub hard-to-reach subdivisions of their bodies. We are inventing devices to help the obese put on their socks.

We are supersizing bath towels and we are redesigning car seats and pushing the steering wheel further forward to accommodate massive girth and enormous guts. And we are, most tellingly, cranking out extra-large caskets as fast as we can build them, because we know what's coming, soon.

Thanks, OAA, for the link.

Amazon reviewers provide a valuable service for free and I ought not to make fun.

I am going to anyway, so be assured I do so with love, and I recognize that I am as given to typos and missteps (and ill-advised sentence structure) as anybody (eg. "immerged"):

(From a review of Gore Vidal's INVENTING A NATION)

Vidal's Vivid Portrait Of The Nation's Nativity, November 3, 2003
Reviewer: William C. Hall from Newport, OR USA

"Of all the Founding Fathers, Vidal perhaps best succeeds in offering a vibrant portrait of this proud, sometimes vain man, always conscious of his unique position in the new nation, sometimes struggling with the mantle of leadership that has been placed on his shoulders but never turning away from it."

Gore Vidal: Founding Father.

(Book looks good, though.)

It's not much of a test -- with only 3 questions, but BINGO:

Sakuya (vocalist)


Which Kaikan Phrase band member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

-answered phones at an orthopedic implant manufacturing company
-assisted a lawyer as a legal secretary
-assisted with triage drill special effects make-up
-catered an art opening
-changed a projection booth in an old movie theater into a bedroom for visiting artists in an avante garde theatre
-christmas shopping for a busy executive
-cleaned house
-cleaned up a theater after a fire
-dressed high-end runway models for fashion shows
-early morning weekend hostess at a hotel restaurant
-facilitated an engagement party at a fancy private home
-hostessed parties on the lower east side
-hostessed sci-fi themed costumes parties in the meat-packing district
-improv comedy at colleges and universities in the northeast
-modeled bee stings out of derma wax for an independent film
-movie extra
-painted myself orange to play a native american in an outdoor drama
-played miles christopher's secretary on all my children
-post-operative wound care
-researched electrocution for a novelist
-sorority girls' hair and make-up for big dances
-telephone surveys
-temporary staffing coordinator
-took room service to M.C. Hammer
-tv extra
-video store clerk
-written "girl copy," “confessionals” and “short-fiction” for dirty magazines
-written about comic books
-written English adaptations of Japanese manga titles

TO say that Dr. Michael Bruno, a specialist in cosmetic and
reconstructive dentistry, is a perfectionist is to vastly
underplay his world view. Dr. Bruno, who lives with his
wife, the shoe designer Bettye Muller, in a rigorously
designed white lacquer apartment that is uncannily
suggestive of a perfect set of new teeth, is driven by the
inspiration of three adjectives: efficient, streamlined and
continuous, according to Ms. Muller, who has written them
down in a notebook.

Penelope Green deserves an award for this. Is there a Pulitzer category for deftly mocking fools?

There should be.

(Thanks, Amity, for the link.)

I saw an amazing coat on a woman in New York during the cold snap a couple of weeks ago: it was down, but instead of the usual Michelin Man cut, this coat was cut almost like a kimono. It looked warm, but beautiful.

I've been trying to turn up a picture of it, and the closest thing I can find is this jacket:

... the coat I'm talking about is longer, delightfully free of the weird fake-fur collar, and somehow ... softer; more elegant.

Anybody know the coat I'm talking about?

I love my Michelin Man model -- it's the warmest coat I've ever owned -- but it's not at all flattering.

I'm not kidding or exaggerating: I want to become a collector of Rachel Stuart-Haas' work.

She's got new work up. Because today is the day that pretty things mock me.

This site continues to torture me. Could this dress be more beautiful??