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October 31, 2003
Mouse Poops
Last night I fed my husband mouse poops.
When I pulled the crackers off the shelf they looked … nibbled upon. I momentarily entertained the notion that mice might’ve had their way with our Wasa, but because we share our home with two incredibly predatory felines, I immediately dismissed it. NO WAY could we have mice. I’m not sure to what harmless creature my subconscious mind was attributing the nibbling, but I was certain it wasn’t vermin.
I’ve been wrong before.
We’d finished our dinners and were digesting same over an episode of The Singing Detective (an old British mini-series with which we’ve become obsessed) when Jessi called. I took the call in the kitchen – so as not to disturb the viewing – and whilst we were chatting, started putting away dinner fixings, including the package of Wasa.
It was at this point that I discovered the poops. Dozens of them. Gathered in the bottom of the bag like plumped-up poo-colored rice. And they were touching the crackers. All of the crackers. They were rubbing their filthy poopy mouse germs all over our Wasa.
I panicked. I explained to Jessi that I had to get off the phone because I was about to contract the bubonic plague and I had to break the news to my mate. I wasn’t sure whether I should vomit or contact the World Health Organization. I recalled my experience with the Poison Control Hotline, and opted instead to puke.
On my way to the bathroom, I explained what had happened to Fraction and offered to sign divorce papers once I’d emerged. Then I meticulously washed my fingers, before sticking them down my throat.
I completely understand the neurosis that causes people to drink bleach. I swear I thought it over. I considered bleach and that practice from the Yoga Mala that involves swallowing and regurgitating towels. I wanted desperately to turn my guts inside out and have at them with a scrub brush and a fire hose. Instead, I vomited till I had nothing left to give but stomach lining and eyeball petechiae.
When I immerged, Fraction talked me down and declined my offer for an amicable divorce. Miraculously, he was unconcerned that he himself had swallowed Wasa that had undoubtedly been coated with shards of mouse poops. He consoled me by explaining that we probably swallow mouse poops every day. Evidently, there are standards for it established by the FDA.
…
He was sweet to try, anyway.
If you count the time he had to stick his hand into a sink full of my puke and the time I farted on him, this brings the count of Disgusting Things My Husband Has Endured For The Sake Of Our Marriage up to nine gazillion six hundred and forty-two.
I love him so.
Posted by kellysue at 05:34 PM | talk
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Marion Blaylock?
World's Oldest Person Dies
Fri October 31, 2003 10:28 AM ET
TOKYO (Reuters) - The oldest person in the world, Kamato Hongo, died on Friday aged 116, a spokesman for a hospital in southern Japan said.
She had been in hospital in the city of Kagoshima, 620 miles southwest of Tokyo, for several weeks, according to a relative.
Born in 1887, when Japan was gradually opening up to the world after more than two centuries of isolation, Hongo was known for her love of "dancing" by waving her hands and for sleeping two days and then staying awake for the next two.
Posted by kellysue at 09:52 AM | talk
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October 30, 2003
Help A Girl Out
Kate Bingaman, whom I adore, sends the following plea:
Kelly Sue!
I was wondering if you could help a girl out!?!
I don't know if you got the e-mail that I sent inviting people to
send me a photo of a purchase and the receipt that came with it for a
catalog that I am compiling for my thesis exhibition in april, but I was
wondering if you would like to participate and also if maybe you could
spread the word on your lovely website?
I did get the e-mail, I do plan on participating and I'd love to post about it.
I'll do that now:
I am coming to you in serious desperation.
I have a little something called a THESIS SHOW coming up in a few short
months and I am calling on you for participation and generous help in a
group project.
I was struggling with a way to include the viewers of obsessive consumption
in my show.
This is my solution:
I am asking for you to send me an image and a receipt of an item that you
have purchased. I would also like the following questions to be answered.
name:
location:
age:
occupation:
Why did you buy this item:
Where did you buy this item:
How much did it cost:
Ranking:
And anything else that you would find relevant to include.
I am making a catalog called "What did you buy today?"
I hope to send you a copy of the catalog in exchange for your participation.
I can guarantee you a handmade quality product.
You may send me digital files.
You may send me the actual photo and receipt.
If you choose to do this please send all submissions to:
What Did You Buy Today
Attn. Kate Bingaman
120 Richards Hall
Lincoln, Nebraska 68588
Send all digital submissions to : kate@obsessiveconsumption.com
AGAIN! YOUR HELP AND PARTICIPATION IS WANTED GREATLY AND APPRECIATED!
I'm going to play. You should, too.
Posted by kellysue at 05:21 PM | talk
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The Moth
I used to volunteer for these folks way back when:
THE ANNUAL MOTH BALL
The Moth--New York's nonprofit arts organization dedicated to the art of storytelling--hosts its annual gala benefit, Through the Looking Glass, on Monday, November 17, at Laura Belle. Go to http://www.themoth.org for more information
Posted by kellysue at 10:53 AM | talk
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October 28, 2003
Thanking the Academy
Thanks to you beautiful peaches who place your amazon orders through my associate links (I am particularly grateful to whomever ordered a camera. May you take beautiful photos of pretty things, Stranger!), I have a thirty-three dollar gift certificate to spend.
What shall I buy?
Posted by kellysue at 04:12 PM | talk
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Oofah
I just got back on Saturday from a week in New York working the Playmates showroom for the October Toy Expo and visiting friends. (I represented Water Babies, if you must know.) Playmates is a fabulous company to work for. I've done their Toy Fair for years now and I've always had fun. Even when they made me dress like Amazing Ally. Which was hell. As it happens, wearing a corderoy jumpsuit makes me look exactly like a giant toddler. A giant, thirty-something year old toddler. And I got to have my picture taken repeatedly with the 9-foot tall glamazon playing Lara Croft. It was a week's worth of work that required 3 months of therapy. But, you know, FUN!!
Highlights from NYC:
...Amity
...Going to the track with Maggie, Georgeann and Liz. I had a shitty day betting-wise (my worst *ever*), but it was great fun nonetheless. Good thing I was gambling with Maggie's money, huh?
...I was remarkably productive for no apparent reason. Did the second half of rewrites on the first volume of Sensual Phrase, most of a second draft of PERFECT BOUND, some knitting, a ton of note-taking and made a pass at a pitch that Steve Niles suggested and, um, my Christmas list. Because I am in many ways, still a child. And an only child at that.
...Al Quagliata
...dinner with Mike at Veselka -- BORSCHT! SO GOOD! I ATE TWO BOWLS!!
...Two hours spent wandering around Sephora alone indulging my every girlish whim (I am now crazy in love with Alchemy lipsticks, Emergency Lip stuff, and "Refreshing Lip Gel," by the way)
...dinner at the community table at Angelica's. I had the Wee Dragon Bowl (which isn't terribly wee) and a delightful conversation with a young man named Jonathan. I meant to buy their cookbook but it was too spendy
...Courtney and Seth Kramalew - who are quite possibly the cutest hosts ever. Also, they appreciate my fart jokes -- or at least they graciously pretend to
Lowpoints from NYC:
...Falling in love with a different pair of shoes on every block
...Didn't manage to get together with Will Rosado, Elizabeth, or Joe Quesada, despite my best efforts and intentions. Joe now owes me a meal. I, in turn, owe Will a couple
...I ate a lot. I had a mini-chocolate croissant almost every day. This could also be considered a high point - if it were not for the guilt and consequences
...yoga class. Maggie took me to the Shala for class with Barbara Sunday morning. The class itself was fantastic. I hadn't practiced in a couple of months and hadn't worked out AT ALL in about six weeks, so I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the practice. I was also surprised and how near crippled with pain I was the next day. Guess who's arms have gotten pathetic?
Random notes:
...Amelie lovers: go here
...it's Steve Niles week at Comic Book Resources
...Jamie Rich makes me smile
...I spent far too much time playing with this
...If I had more money than I do, I would buy a painting by Rachel Stuart-Haas
...Mexico's band is called "Butterknife"
...ha ha ha ha ha
Posted by kellysue at 03:32 PM | talk
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Demon Diary Purchase Links
I'm going to start putting up some purchase links for books I've worked on, starting with the Tokyopop series "Demon Diary." Volumes 1-3 are out now, 4-6 are available for preorder and I think Volume 7 (the final volume) should go up shortly.
I wrote the Engish adaptations of the following:
Posted by kellysue at 11:13 AM | talk
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Craig's Vital Scan
Fraction and I don't have cable (else, we'd never get anything done) so we're going to miss Craig's show, but you should check it out. Craig says:
Our second episode of VITAL SCAN -- a BrainBox Original Series -- airs tonight on the Discovery Channel at 10pm, eastern standard time. There's just one more after this, next Friday at 10pm.
Tonight:
Mountain climber Craig DeMartino plummets 9 stories from a rock face...
BMX King Mat Hoffman cracks his spleen open after a 46 foot freefall on his bike...
And Lindsay Thomas falls asleep at the wheel and ends up a ditch hidden from the road, spending five harrowing days trapped in her car, fighting for her life...
See the smash ups! Get the low down! Be entertained by other people's private horror!
Er ... sounds like fun, right ... ?
You should also explore craigmoorhead.com for tunes.
Craig works for BrainBox.
Posted by kellysue at 10:32 AM | talk
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October 14, 2003
Xtophotography
Unbeknownst to me, Xtop took a picture of me, taking a futurephone shot of the house behind our place being destroyed.
Pajamas and bedhead and demolition.
Posted by kellysue at 02:22 PM | talk
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October 04, 2003
Paperheart Secret Illustration
jessica williams says "email me your secrets and i promise to illustrate them."
Someone should take her up on it report back. I would send her mine, but then they wouldn't be secrets anymore.
Posted by kellysue at 09:39 AM | talk
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Obesity Trends Among US Adults MOVIE
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