Blogging The Oscars

I am having the weirdest night. Firefox — a program that almost never crashes — has crashed on me FOUR TIMES as I’ve tried to compose this. Here’s hoping we make it through this time.

Okay. Where was I?

I considered posting this on the Diary section of The Engine as I thought it would be fun if people could contribute as the night progressed, but The Engine isn’t the WEF; I still feel like a bit of an outsider over there and I’m not sure I have a good sense of what would fly. So here we go…

  • Lucy Liu is ten kinds of charming. I feel like I need more Lucy Liu in my life;
  • Patricia Field is apparently an old dude. That makes a certain kind of sense, I suppose, I just didn’t know;
  • Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet both look stunning. What’s this about Blanchett playing Bob Dylan…?
  • Was that Kristen Dunst in the frumpy gray frock? What’s with that girl? She’s so pretty. Why does she insist on looking like an old lady?
  • When did I become such a Jewish mother?
  • (In fairness, I only glimpsed the dress. I might not be as bad as I think. I bet it is though. She seems to have a thing for sacks.)
  • I think Ellen’s doing a fine job thus far. Would it have killed her to have worn a tie, though? I mean, if you’re going to wear a suit, wear a tux. And do it up. It’s the Oscars;
  • Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig: wow. They’re so… ideal. I wonder if they’re real or if I’m dreaming them;
  • Aw. I loved Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine and I didn’t see Dreamgirls, but I’m a little bummed for Eddie Murphy. I had my fingers crossed for him;
  • Who struck you as more joyless: Maggie Gyllenhaal or Ben Affleck?
  • Oh holy crap! Baldy is Jack Nicholson! I wondered why they kept cutting back to that guy;
  • I like Wes Anderson. The American Express campaign amuses me;
  • Milena Canonero somehow managed to pull off that weird Col. Sanders thing;
  • Tom Cruise. Ptooie. (Is that how you spell spitting? That man makes me want to spit.)
  • Oooh! Ellen’s white suit! Now we’re talking;
  • Oh, I heart Robert Downey, Jr. And sober? That man’s hot. The gray hair works for him. He was always cute — I have a mortifying soft spot for Heart and Souls — but now? Damn;
  • Abhay, Dave and Ivan are blogging the Oscars over on the NYC Mech board. I’m not yet finished reading the first page, but thus far I disagree with Abhay on EVERYTHING, which is peculiar, as I have it in my mind that we generally agree. Apparently? Not so much;
  • I suspect this is an unpopular opinion, but I really like the weird shadow dance troupe;
  • Oh, I love when they Brill cream Clooney’s hair! Le sigh;
  • Jennifer Hudson won. Yipee. I mean… I’m sure she’s lovely. But. Still;
  • Wow. I forgot how young Clint Eastwood used to be;
  • Is that Celine Dion? Hellooooo fast-forward;
  • Eastwood speaks Italian?? Oh, damn;
  • “Volver”-ine…? That’s awful;
  • Maybe Dunst’s dress isn’t as bad as I thought… no… no, it is;
  • WOW! But Jennifer Lopez’s dress is much, much worse! Neat!
  • The Dreamgirls warble off… Where’s that remote?
  • Wait, who’s the Dreamgirl that’s not Beyonce or Hudson?  She’s gorgeous!
  • HA HA HA HA Tivo switched over to Scrubs.  I missed the end of the Oscars.
  • Goodnight.

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Published:
02.25.07 / 9pm
Category:
movies, tv